Reveling in my cheapskatedness

thrifty, adj. frugal, saving; sparing; economical; foresighted; provident.

I was a bit surprised to not see "cheapskate" in my thesaurus or dictionary. Instead, I found kind words, like those listed above. No one has ever directed those pleasant words at me. But I've most certainly been called a cheapskate, by no less a dignitary than my wife.

It's a label I wear with pride. That's not to suggest I'm "frugal" or "sparing" in all areas of my life. I simply choose to be "sparing" and "economical" in some areas to finance my interest in other areas.

Until recently, I did not take the time to quantify my "economical" methods. That changed on January 1. I resolved to keep a detailed monthly record of my favorite area of savings: groceries.

See, grocery shopping is like a sport to me. Much like a marathon, when it comes to shopping, I study, plan and execute to achieve specific goals. The grocery ads appear in Wednesday's newspaper and I lay them out like a general mapping a battlefield. I look for matches between my coupon collection and the weekly specials. On Saturday, I attack.

Yes, I'm the nerd who cuts coupons every Sunday. I'm the geek standing in the aisle, doing coupon math in his head. I'm the dork who hands the cashier a stack of coupons at checkout.

Ah, but the results of my quest...

During the month of January, I realized total grocery savings of $198.95. That's $83.75 in coupons and $115.20 in advertised specials.

Are there trade-offs? Absolutely. I purchase very few things that aren't on sale. (Milk and bananas are the only things that immediately come to mind.) So if chicken is what's on sale this week, chicken is what we're having. Hamburgers have to wait.

But that $198.95 pays for the annual newspaper subscription. Or two tickets to a Springsteen concert. Or an airline ticket. Or two pairs of running shoes. Or...well, you get the idea. In other words, don't pin the country's economic recovery hopes on me.